Pregnancy Update

I thought I would do a little update on my pregnancy. I have had so many of you reach out to me and I wanted to tell you that I truly appreciate all of the messages, texts, prayers, and more! I can’t tell you how much it means to me that there are so many thinking about our family. Thank you, thank you!!

My doctor had previously told me that weeks 22-28 will be the hardest. To prepare to be hospitalized. To try and get to the latter of that to deliver the baby.  I am so glad to say that I am 28 weeks today! Baby girl is still cooking and I am still at home!! 

As far as how I am feeling, I am exhausted pretty much all the time. I have a hard time breathing for most of the day. I am not sure if that it’s just getting bigger or my heart issues, but probably both! Going up stairs is always the hardest. I try and limit that as much as possible. I try to get ready and everything before I come down for the day. I am slow moving. I take a while to get out of bed. Luckily Josh will go down with Charlotte in the morning and get her breakfast and my mom gets her off to school. I can stay in bed and take my time each morning.  I haven’t swelled, which is a huge indicator I’m retaining fluid and would be admitted. I am not having trouble breathing while I sleep. So those are very good things!!! I get really winded when I talk a lot (which we all know I love to do) and if I sing (haha which we all know I love to do as well...even though I’m basically tone deaf...yes, I’m well aware). That’s why I haven’t called or try to avoid being social. Not being social has been one of the hardest things during this experience. I love getting out and about and meeting new people and this whole thing has really put a damper on that! 

It’s so hard, naturally being a busy body and getting stuff done all the time, to just sit back and rely on everyone around me. Right now I am mentally nesting, because that’s pretty much all I can do. I have been able to do some online shopping and gather things for the arrival of our baby. My mom has helped with several projects around the house. Rearranging furniture, hanging stuff on my walls, etc. I can’t lift or carry or do anything, so Josh and my mom are doing it all.  I am so glad my mom is here. I know there are a lot of sacrifices her and my dad have had to make with all the little kids still at home. I appreciate her coming to take care of me and my family. Taking Charlotte to and from school every day, doing our chores, cooking dinner every night and so much more!!  

I am so grateful to have a supportive family who has been willing to stay with me and do everything. My mother-in-law stayed with us for a month, my mom has been here for three weeks (by the time she leaves on Saturday), Tahnee comes for a couple weeks and then possibly my dad next. I have had several other friends and family reach out and volunteer to come stay with me, and I am so grateful to all of you! 

Every day I am more in love with Josh.  He is so patient with this entire situation.  I just can't really put into words how grateful I am that he is my eternal partner.  I feel so lucky every day.  He has dealt with so much lately.  New city, new house, new job, people in and out of our house constantly and yet he has never complained or made things difficult.  But always so willing to do whatever needs to be done.  

My next appointment is on February 19. My first time on a Monday and it worked out that Josh has the day off for President’s Day. Tahnee will be here to watch Charlotte. I have to come prepared to be admitted to the hospital. I am just hoping and praying I can come back home. I am not ready to be in the hospital and away from Josh and Charlotte for so long. Ugh. It’s going to be awful when it finally does happen, but it’s the price we will pay to have the best care. 

Everyone keeps telling me that I’m handling this so well. And while I feel like I do during the day, nights are the worst. I lay in bed undistracted and think about what is going on. I concentrate so much on my heart beat. Is that a normal pace? Is it going too fast? Why does the artery in my neck feel huge? Will I wake up in the morning?  To be completely honest, I’m scared. I am scared of what’s going to happen, what isn’t going to happen, how long I’m really going to be hospitalized? what if something happens before I can make it to Atlanta? What if my heart can’t take the delivery and I die in childbirth? What if something goes wrong after delivery and the doctor can’t get there fast enough? “What if’s” are constantly on my mind. We knew this would be a challenging pregnancy. While it looks from the outside that everything is going well, the reality is that I’m in heart failure and my body is FAILING. During the day I don’t really about it too much (besides this blog post haha). I have to be strong as possible for Charlotte. I want to keep positively thinking all the time. The mind is such a powerful tool and I want to know I can overcome this hurdle. I get ready every day. Shower, dressed, makeup. If I didn’t, I’d feel sick. I want to feel as normal as possible. 

I realize I am just blabbing on, but this is real life people! This is what is happening. Again, the blog posts are the best way to reach everyone and answer all of your questions at once. If you are still reading this, bless you!! 

#bumpie

Nursing cover, swaddle blanket, and baby wrap.  I didn't use any of these with Charlotte.  Tahnee will be teaching me how to use all of these when she gets here! Andrew will be our model. haha

Baby crib is up.  Now to figure out the configuration of the nursery.  

Some basic newborn clothes.  I learned with Charlotte they are only in newborn clothes for a couple weeks, tops.  Unlike with Charlotte, I have really reeled it in with the clothes buying.  Hardly any at all! #winning