Nothing I Hate More...

There is nothing I hate more than wanting to lose weight. Growing up I never had to worry about it.  I have always been thin and honestly, for the first 24 years of my life, I don't even remember having much of an appetite.  I got married at my ideal weight and gained TWENTY pounds in NINE months (that's like getting pregnant with no baby at the end)!  Josh hates when I talk about it.  I was put on Depo Provera and I didn't do any research (you live and learn).  I didn't know that weight gain was a side effect...at least as much as I gained.  All of a sudden I loved food and my appetite increased a lot.  Long story short, I would love to loose those twenty pounds.  BUT, I hate to diet. I love the flexibility of eating whatever, WHENEVER I want.  I feel like when I am trying to lose weight, I think about food more, therefore, wandering into the kitchen even when I'm not hungry.  I feel like I really am not all that hungry these days, but if I'm home all day (like today), I tend to eat more.  One reason I love being on the go...I hardly eat. I feel like I have the body type that hits a plateau and doesn't change.  I don't care what the scale says, I care what my middle looks like; what I'll look like in a swimsuit or at my ten year reunion or if I have a muffin top over my jeans.  I only like working out because of the feeling AFTER the workout is done.  I haven't been able to workout for a few days, but today, just now, I finally put in Jillian Michaels 6-pack in 6 weeks while Charlotte is napping.  I tell Charlotte all the time, "you must not want a skinny mom."  Haha.  And of course I rather play with her instead of exercise, but I know I need to make more time and just bite the bullet and do it!

I am sure I relate to someone else out there, right?  Someone else that hates to workout and diet but finds it necessary?