Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Talking to Your Kids About...

I know it's been a while since my last blog post, but there really isn't that much going on, besides our occasional trip to Disneyland and running around town.  We are still loving life and everything is going well.  I am loving each day, more and more, being a mom.  I love Charlotte and having the blessing of staying home with her.  She is at the stage where she is learning something new everyday, eating new things, and just discovering her surroundings.  Being a parent in these days can be a scary thing.  There is so much that we, as parents, need to make sure that our children learn.  For example, I watch Good Morning America every morning as Josh gets ready for work and as I get breakfast for everyone.  This morning they had a topic of Home Ec being in schools.  The reporter, Dan Abrams, said that it's the parents responsibility to teach that, not the schools.  All of the other reporters (mostly parents) said that it absolutely needs to be in the schools in addition to home.  You can never be taught too much about etiquette, cooking, budgeting, etc.  Then later this morning I came across the best article titled, "The Sex Talk."  Please read the article; it is the best I've read about this subject (and I could never sum it up and give it justice).  I agree with everything this woman talks about  referring to talking to your children about sex, pornography and the reality of it all, 100%!!  I am a pretty open person and I hope that I will be open with Charlotte and any other children that we are blessed with.  I think a lot of parents just think, that will never happen to my child or my child hangs out with good kids or we have rules.  WHATEVER!  When Tahnee and I were working on a school project for her, I believe her freshman year in high school, it was about the Medieval  Times.  We typed in middleages.com and lo and behold, porn was popping up all over the screen.  I couldn't "X' each screen fast enough and finally just turned off the whole computer.  To be honest, I think we just laughed and were mostly in shock of what just happened.  But that isn't the case all the time.  A lot of times that sparks curiosity and has people coming back for more.  As sad as it is, it's true.  No matter how "strong" you are, it can happen to anyone.  I have been told by several women who raised sons, would occasionally ask their boys (and husbands) if they have viewed pornography.  I remember at first thinking, that's weird, but really it's not.  It's a great idea.  I think if they know someone is checking up on them, then they are more prone to NOT look.  Just like in this article she says:

For the past few years, I have been asking my kids ever couple of months if they have seen any pornography yet. We don’t do it in an intense setting, I’ll just ask every once in a while. I have had multiple parents tell me that won’t work. That they will see it and just hide it. Well, two weeks ago one of my sons came to me, with tears in his eyes and asked me if pornography was illegal. I asked a few follow up questions and he told me that he had seen pornography and that he turned away as fast as he could, but that he still saw it first. I considered that moment a huge success. 

I know I am just kind of blabbing on, but I am nervous about my children going out into the real world, but I think if Josh and I develop a trusting relationship with them and talk about things openly,whether it's about sex or ANYTHING, they will feel comfortable talking to us.

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